• Wichita Linebacker Images

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 • Wichita Linebacker


Airdate: Tuesday 15th May 2007
Time: 9PM
Channel: Trouble

Veronica is hired by campus football player to help him find the stolen playbook before next practice or risk losing his scholarship. There are repercussions for Veronica following her article about the sorority. Logan lands himself in hot water with Veronica, and Keith hires a familiar face to help out at Mars Investigations.

 • Guest Stars

Kurt (Armie Hammer)
Larry (Erik Eidem)
Trish (Lindsey McKeon)
Mercer Hayes (Ryan Devlin)
Claire Nordhouse (Krista Kalmus)
Dean Cyrus O'Dell (Ed Begley Jr.)
Bryan "Pop" Popovich)

 • Quotes

Veronica: Football. The systematic violation of the Geneva Convention made into a sport. I'm surprised the ASPCA doesn't protest.

Veronica: If you have words written on yourself, it's not nudity, it's political speech: taking control of one's body to turn the objectifying male gaze back on its-
Logan: O...
Veronica: -self...
Logan: ...kay. No more college for you.

Veronica: New friends?
Logan: Yeah, from weightlifting class.
Veronica: Right! The only class you never miss. So what? You guys spot each other doing squat thrusts and stuff?
Logan: Have group sex in the showers.
Veronica: Ha!
Logan: What is this? Jealous?
Veronica: Ooh, jealous would involve piano wire.
Logan: Oh.

Veronica: That was mild annoyance at the fact that two gym buddies invite you to a party and you're there already, but whenever I want to do something interesting, you're busy.
Logan: What do you mean, interesting like some fossil wheezing through a novel, huh?
Veronica: First, Martin Amis isn't a fossil, and second, yes, it's college. We are supposed to expand our horizons past video games and binge drinking.
Logan: My horizons go slightly beyond that.
Veronica: Great! So, how 'bout tonight we check out the Art Major group show?
Logan: I'm busy.

Veronica: "Darling, do all the weird crap you like, just don't be late for the booty call." Really, how do you think that sounds?
Logan: I think that sounds romantic.
Veronica: You also think weightlifting is an actual class.
Logan: Mm-hm.

Weevil: Guess I'll go wash some, uh, spoiled bitch's graduation gift from Daddy, huh?
Veronica: I'm not spoiled...and, uh, technically it wasn't for graduation.
Weevil: What about the bitch part?
Veronica: Uh, it depends on who you ask.

Veronica: You need some information? Okay. Slugs have four noses. That's what I'm offering today.

Dick: Veronica Mars, modern college girl on the go.
Veronica: Dick Casablancas, Neolithic college boy on the sauce.

Veronica: No messages. Where's Logan?
Dick: Nailing other chicks.

Veronica: Just the other day, my dad was saying I had a thing for trying to reform unreformable bad boys.
Logan: What does that have to do with me? I'm reformable, good, and a man.

Logan: Oh, Dick's idea of five minutes is like one. Ask Madison Sinclair.

Veronica: I'm stuck at work tonight. Maybe you could drop by.
Logan: Mm-hm. G-rated booty call in the library. Maybe I just will.

Veronica: If he's off the team, he loses his scholarship, he's gone, and Trish is alone and ready to cry on your bony-assed paint-spattered shoulder.
Larry: Look, whoever you are. I'm not a criminal mastermind, I'm just a painter.
Veronica: Yeah, well, so was Hitler.

Veronica: Just had a little chat with our friend Larry - enormous tool, by the way. Trish totally traded up.

Veronica: So how did people blackmail each other before email? Thirty years ago, I'd be here all night, cutting letters from a magazine and getting glue everywhere. Now it's just one button.

Logan: Veronica, it's not like I promised...wait. How did you find me?
Veronica: Easy. I just followed the pungent smell of money going to waste.

Logan: You know, your dad was half-right. You have a thing for bad boys, but, well, you don't want to reform them, you just get off on judging them.
Veronica: Which reminds me. Can I borrow your copy of 101 Brooding Comments?
Logan: I only have the CliffNotes. Look, I gotta run, so, uh, to save you the trouble, I'm surfing in Mexico with Dick and Mercer this weekend. I'll fax you the coordinates so you don't incur any more cell-tracking charges, and I'll keep a journal of my bad thoughts in case you want to stick my face in a cage of rats when I get back. Sorry, 1984 is the only book I read.

Veronica: Now, maybe people would say they'd never install a tracking device in their significant other's car, but I think that's just because they don't know how.

Veronica: So I'll let that be my defence. A case of momentarily crazy. Because when you think about it? No one wants to know what college boys do with themselves in Mexico.

 • Trivia

This episode was originally entitled "Friday Night Sleights" but was changed after the writers realised colleges do not play football on Fridays.

"Wichita Linebacker" is a play on the song "Wichita Lineman" by Jimmy Webb

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